At long last, the cast will be playing characters their actual age.
We’re already three episodes into Season 5 of Riverdale, but if for some reason you thought that meant we wouldn’t see any major narrative mixups, I respectfully invite you to think again. The CW teen drama series is jumping ahead 7 years into the future, and the promo for the upcoming episode “Chapter Eighty: Purgatorio” might be one of the most batshit things I have ever seen.
Nearly a decade after graduating from high school earlier this week, Arche (KJ Apa) is returning to Riverdale after getting sent off to war in a conflict that appears to have at least partially taken place on a football field. Jughead (Cole Sprouse) is a published author seemingly furious with the hardcover printing of his latest novel, Betty (Lili Reinhart) joined the FBI where she was imprisoned for a time in a serial killer’s basement, and Veronica (Camila Mendes) has married a man named Chadwick, in what is objectively the cruelest twist of fate for any of the four main characters. Riverdale has become a ghost town since the gang moved on, and Archie is looking to bring everyone back together to try and help. I think. I honestly can’t tell what the hell is going on here.
Riverdale has consistently made headlines since its 2017 debut for being out of its damn mind, and this latest jump to the future fits in perfectly with that singular vision. Archie’s wartime scenes look like Red Dawn by way of Saving Private Ryan, and Betty’s plight is nearly a shot-for-shot remake of the “It puts the lotion in the basket!” scene from The Silence of the Lambs. Archie Comics has an infamous tradition of being out of their damn minds as well – Archie has crossed paths with the Punisher, been stalked by the Predator, turned into a zombie, become super Christian, and been literally assassinated, just to name a few of the more bonkers events of the long-running comic book series. So while the show is definitely a dramatic reimagining, it cannot be said that Riverdale hasn’t been true to the spirit of the Archie franchise, where the only motto is “I don’t know, who cares?” Check out the banana sandwich trailer below. Riverdale airs on The CW Wednesdays at 8 ET.
Bingeable this February.
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